Dumb Quotes from the Government

Whoa…I just found this post I wrote two months ago and forgot to publish. Lately, I’ve been updating this blog less frequently than Rush Limbaugh watches the BET Network. Will that change soon? I think so. Visiting the wordpress site today I noticed that I was still getting hits despite not posting anything in the last 63 days. Surely publishing this outdated and joke-free entry will drive my few remaining readers away. Also be on the look out for some unaccompanied guitar solos or epic jazz odysseys in the near future.

If you are reading this, you are probably more qualified to serve in the government that those we have elected. Unlike doctors, lawyers, teachers, or even most CEOs, legislators are held only to minimum standards of age and citizenship, not any requirements of education or professional competency. In lieu of resumes and job interviews, their employers, us, make hiring decisions based primarily on 30-second TV spots–on par in terms of marketing tactics, but way behind in factual accuracy, compared to ads endorsing Miller Lite over Bud Light.

Clearly the More Taste League has much higher standards than the United States Government.
Clearly the More Taste League has much higher standards than the United States Government.

I’ve compiled a list of dumb statements by the folks on Capitol Hill. In light of the above context, perhaps these statements will be somewhat less surprising. The quotes are in regard to the recent economic woes and proposed “bailout” legislation. 

The first thing I would do is say, ‘Let’s not call it a bailout. Let’s call it a rescue,'”
Sen John McCain (R) – Arizona

“It’s not based on any particular data point. We just wanted to choose a really large number.”
Spokesman for Treasury Secretary Hank Paulson (on the $700 billion figure)

“The last six months have made it abundantly clear that voluntary regulation does not work.”
SEC Chairman Christopher Cox

“None of us want to be here today. All of us would rather not be dealing with this situation.”
Rep. Roy Blunt (R) – Missouri
House minority whip
None of us in this body have any really good judgment or insight into what happens if we fail to pass this bill.”
Rep. Spencer Bachus (R) – Alabama
Ranking member of the House Financial Services Committee

“Sixty-seven percent of the Republican Conference decided to put political ideology ahead of the best interest of our great nation.”
Rep. James E. Clyburn (D) – South Carolina
Democratic whip

“We don’t know if this is going to work to be honest with you. But you know, time will tell.”
Sen. Jon Tester (D) – Montana
Member of the Senate Banking Committee
“These two entities—Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac—are not facing any kind of financial crisis. The more people exaggerate these [mortgage] problems, the more pressure there is on these companies, the less we will see in terms of affordable housing.”
Rep. Barney Frank (D) – Massachusetts
Chairman of the House Financial Services Committee
Sept 11, 2003
The economy doesn’t begin to reflect the true strength this economy has.”
Rep. Roy Blunt (R) – Missouri
House minority whip

“This is a huge cow patty with a piece of marshmallow stuck in the middle of it and I am not going to eat that cow patty.”
Rep. Paul Broun (R) – Georgia


3 thoughts on “Dumb Quotes from the Government

  1. LMAO. As many times as I have heard some of these statements, they have not lost any of their luster.

    But I must add, out of context they sound more alarming then they actually are.

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